It’s almost like a secret club for couples who deal with infertility, fertility and conception. The terms, the special diets, the long term plans. It can be an obsession for those who desperately want to have children, or a constant reminder of our humanity for those that are successful. It is a challenge that only Fate can judge. But that isn’t to say that there aren’t tricks to the trade that everyone should be aware of while trying to make a baby.
The first and last thing to remember on your journey to conception is never, under any circumstance, give up. There are no guarantees with life, no promises that can’t be broken. The only thing that is going to help you to succeed in conception is Faith. Faith in yourself, in your mind and your body’s abilities. If you believe in yourself, anything is possible. You’ve committed yourself to the dream of a family so far, haven’t you? Make it your reality.
No one can do it alone, no one. Attitude is everything.
Don’t talk in terms of ‘if’, talk in terms of ‘when’. Don’t wait for it to come to you, go get it! Women are inspired by visuals, spend time with other parents, spend time with babies. Read everything you can get your hands on, parenting magazines, birthing manuals… Maybe even watch Birth Stories on television. There’s a whole culture of parenting and children out there, and once you become involved in it, it will become involved in you. The benefit to becoming involved with children is experience. You’ll learn to know what you like and what you don’t. What sort of parenting you want to accomplish, how you want your relationship with your child to develop. Prepare yourself mentally; it will do great things for your hormonal balance as well, improving your chances for easy conception. You’re making yourself ready to be a Mother, a Father, a Family.
People make comments. It’s their attempt at conveying understanding and support in sensitive situations. Expect to run into ‘Fertile-Myrtle’ and her cousin, who got pregnant at the drop of a hat, a pin, or whatever else they’ll tell you. You have to decide what’s right for you. You have to decide what’s a reliable source, what you believe… And what you want to focus on. Consider it practice for when you’re parenting, and need to make decisions as to what you’ll let influence your child… Conception isn’t something everyone can achieve. It takes a lot more than winking, a lot more than the dropping of a hat for some people. Don’t take the negative to heart; you have to remember that you’re powerful enough to overcome all obstacles.
Natural conception is really anything but. There are positions, techniques, and timing to be considered. It’s true, that sometimes people just get lucky… But it’s much more likely that conception will happen to ignorance and bliss before it will happen to hopeful. Education, knowledge, is your finest tool. Know yourself, know your physical form and understand how it works. This will help you conceive, and more so, it will help you deliver. Study your menstrual cycle, learn about your mucus pattern. There are signs of ovulation, usually a temperature raise of a few degrees, a rush of hormones that add a little extra rush to sexual activities… All of this is the natural way of conception.
Position is one thing that people seem to focus on most when trying to conceive. Admittedly, sex for conception should be some of your best… But the main point of Position is that it affects how the sperm reaches the egg. Two positions are recommended as ‘more’ successful, basically because of their deeper penetration. Position one, with the woman on her hands and knees, her partner penetrating her from behind. It’s suggested that if the woman’s head and shoulders are kept lowered, and her pelvis tilted upwards towards her partner’s hips, that sperm will be ejaculated directly towards the womb. The second position suggests the woman on top of the man, although this position strongly depends on the woman’s orgasm to increase muscle contractions and thereby encourage the sperm towards her womb. One thing is strongly agreed upon during conception focused sex, and that is that the woman’s orgasm is highly important. Muscle contractions can only benefit the process.
After sex, lying still with a pillow under a woman’s hips, tilting her pelvis upward can encourage conception. Experts recommend that to optimise sperm count, sex for conception should happen only every couple of days, giving the male an opportunity to replenish his count. The amount of time that sperm can survive is debatable, but it’s agreed that the majority of conception happens within 48 hours of a sexual encounter when a woman is fertile.
So for those timing their activities, the best time in a woman’s 28 day cycle to conceive would be on day 13, with her partner having not ejaculated for two days before hand. They should use a position of deep penetration, optimally with the woman having an orgasm after her partner, with a period of relaxation afterwards.
Got all that?
It doesn’t always work the way it should. Sometimes a man’s count is too low, sometimes the stress of what’s trying to be achieved is too daunting. I know several old wives agree they got pregnant easiest while intoxicated… Probably because it helped them to relax enough to get the deed done. That’s not something we recommend now a days, but the point is comfort, pleasure and self assurance. You can make a baby. You can nourish it and help it grow inside you, and you can birth it. The power is within you. The ultimate problem is time, and that’s nothing to be ashamed of. Planning, wanting a special birthing time, wanting it to happen fast, because you’ve made the decision… All of that is normal. All of the wanting is okay. But understanding is called for as well, there is a divine plan for each of us, sometimes the extra special takes a little bit of a wait.
There are alternative options that couples can consider, one of which that has very good results, and is harmless to Mother and unborn child. Acupuncture is the old way being made new again, and so I recommend that everyone, men and women, look into what affects it could have for you on your journey to conception. Reiki is another technique, that while working with your body’s natural energies, can encourage baby making. And of course, there is always the option of herbs provided by a homeopathic doctor.
No matter what path you choose, the ultimate need before, during and after this quest is support. Show this to your friends, your family, your partner… You must have support. Have a poster that preaches support of families and children on a wall in your home. Have magnets on your fridge that communicate special messages between you and your partner, something to encourage and show affection. Have dates, share special bonding time together at the park where there are other families, join groups that focus on your wants, needs and desires. There are a million different options to make sure your needs are met, do your best to make this a positive experience for yourself and your new family. You deserve it!
In
the end, I can only wish you luck in your journey, and hope that you find
inspiration and knowledge in my words so that you might make your dreams a
reality. This is probably the most important decision anyone can make, as
procreation is sacred and beautiful, but not for everyone. It’s a life long
commitment to have a child, or children, and the truest way to find
immortality. Remember that through you, your children carry on a legacy of
decisions, influence and genetics. Choose wisely, and may your line live on.
Note that Eira Alarches
and SnowStones.com can take no responsibility for outcomes or events
based upon the use of the above listed information.
Please use Common Sense, Reason and above all, Love.
Copyright Eira Alarches© 2008
