Birthing babies is a little like waging war... No battle plan survives
it's first encounter with the enemy. However, that doesn't mean that you
shouldn't have a battle plan. Or that you should be uneducated by any
means. Birthing is going to be one of the hardest things you'll ever do.
It will also be one of the most worthiest tasks you'll ever complete.
What's on this page, like the rest of the site, are my own opinions. Although there's education to be found in what I'm writing about, I'm not a doctor and don't claim to be one. Because this event is so important, because Birthing is such a deeply personal experience, my best advice is to read everything, and disregard anything that is unimportant or untrue for you. Every woman is different, and every experience is going to be different according to the woman. No one is wrong... We're all right. What I'm sharing here has been a whole lot of personal experience and what I've gone through in the carrying and birthing of four children. It's meant as a help to those of you who need the support... Because I know what it's like to be looking for more than what the medical texts offer, and I've often come up empty on sources I'd refer to anyone. As always, I hope this helps... Good luck to you.
Home Birth
I haven't had this joy, but it was something I truly wanted and was rather
disappointed to never experience. For some women, myself included, this is
not an option. For those that it is an option or a consideration for...
Good for you. Home birthing is a popular practice in most of Europe and in
places where hospitals are few and far between. It's becoming more popular
of late to combined home births with water birthing. Midwives can actually
bring portable tubs into your home and set up a safe, healthy environment for
you to birth your child at within your own home.
Home births seem to be more relaxed, more calm to me. You have the options
of candles, incense, the attendants are only who you request in a familiar
setting where you are more relaxed. The
experience is more controlled, and women I've met who have accomplished home
birthing seem to be very well adjusted with their birthing experience.
When all is said and done, you can retire to your own bed with your new baby.
In my mind, it's a relaxing and natural way to give birth.
Downsides to this lovely mental image that I'm quite jealous of include medical
risks... It's possible that complications in delivery could end you up in
the hospital anyways. If something, the gods forbid, goes wrong you've got
limited abilities. Your midwife should come equipped to deal with almost
any situation. But accidents do happen, and home births do not have the
technological advancement available that hospital births do.
Another concern is the ability to rest at home... If there are other
children, pets, or family that will interfere with the new Mother and child
getting the rest and recovery time that they need, a hospital birth would be
best.
Birthing Centers
Again, high risk women and pregnancies cannot afford this option, but it is a
lovely concept for those who are looking for an alternative to the hospital.
Midwives function in a homey atmosphere that welcomes family and loved ones to
be a part of the birthing experience. Birthing Centers include more
medical technology, so they're more secure for anyone who is afraid of
complications in a home birth. They also remove the Mother and child from
a potentially noisy, family based household to make sure recovery time is
generous. The only downside to Birthing Centers is that they can be
located out of town. For example the closest Birthing Center to the City
of Edmonton is in Stony Plain, and with a long winter commute as a possibility,
it could make it a difficult option for parents.
Hospital Birth
For the most part, a hospital birth is what women expect to end their pregnancy
in this day and age. All of my babies have been born as hospital births.
There have been benefits and drawbacks to this method, but I do have to admit
that I wouldn't be here if it hadn't been for the technology and resources
available.
High risk pregnancies can include multiple births, age of the mother, those that
have encountered previous birthing complications or a mother who has been
diagnosed with high blood pressure or gestational diabetes. High risk
pregnancies are often why hospital births are necessary, but if you just feel
more comfortable with having a hospital birth - Then by all means, make what's
right for you happen. Everyone's entitled to their opinion of what's
right, but you've got to be your own person and do what's right for you and your
baby.
Your doctor or midwife is the key to understanding and overcoming complications
within your personal birthing situation. What isn't a big deal to someone
else could be huge and life altering to you... It's all about who you are,
and what you need.
Within your hospital birth there are a variety of options, and a birth plan is
still a viable expectation on your part. Who will be attending the birth,
if it's natural or medication assisted, all of these things are still options to
you. Some hospitals are even renting birthing rooms that are decorated in
relaxing hues and made up like comfortable bedrooms. Hospital births don't
limit your options for birth any more than you allow them to. Expand your
own ideas... Do you want music? See if a cd player is available and
make some cds to take with you... Check out options for lowered lighting,
see if a cot for your partner is available so they can stay with you in
something more comfortable than a hospital chair.
Most of all, I think the key point is often over looked. Your needs as a
new mother need to be met, and you, your mate and your doctor are obligated to
make that happen for you and your child. It's not the past, there's no
obligation to do things any other way then what feels right for you. No
tying to the bed, no quieting when screaming feels best. No annoying
breathing coaching... That always makes me want to punch someone.
You have the right to the birth that's right for you. The hospital staff
and your doctor are there to help make this happen for you... Don't be
afraid to claim what you need.
I remember the first time I was pregnant, someone gave me a copy of 'What to
expect when you're Expecting' and they reminded me to take my pantyhose...
I spilled kool-aid all over that book... Something that would usually
upset me... But it wasn't such a loss.
Things to take with you to the hospital:
A robe - I take pjs, but spend most of my time in the provided beauty gowns.
A comfortable robe helps you stay warm and covers you up from prying visitors.
Thick socks or slippers for any moving about in hospital
A makeup bag including your toothbrush, deodorant, skin cream and anything else
that will help you feel human after having a baby.
Comfortable going home clothes - You want to make sure they're big enough
not to press on your tummy or lower, you're likely to be sore. You also
need something flattering because if you feel horrid, looking good is probably
the only compensation. A new hair clip might be a good addition.
A decent nursing bra and pads - This is a must. There is nothing worse
than a bra that isn't fitting well, especially when your milk is just coming in.
Bravado Designs. They're about $40 a bra,
but in any of the time I've spent while nursing they are far superior in comfort
and design. I've also got some new breast pads from them, it was $20 for a
package of ten pads, they're washable and seem very soft... I'm looking
forward to the comfort!
A take home outfit for baby - At least one special little outfit for your
little one to come home in. I recommend sleepers and a hat, as well as one
of those great set-in bunting bags that they have for car seats now.
Don't take:
Jewellery - It could get stolen, misplaced or ruined.
Perfume - Beyond the likelihood that during labour it will overload your already
sensitive senses, hospital staff and labour support could be affected by it as
well.
Water Birthing
There is no question in my mind that water aids in the birthing process. I
remember a video I saw when I was carrying the twins, about a midwife who took
women in Russia to give birth in the Ocean. I can't image a more
connected, beautiful process that actually giving life in a natural, outdoor
setting.
But reality says... Giving birth in the Ocean isn't going to work out for
most women. If a birthing tub is available, I strongly recommend taking
advantage of it. Water soothes contractions, the heat or cool temperatures
can help with sore muscles and can help you to feel revived when you're tired of
labour. Shower heads with variable pressure can help with that annoying
achy pain that seems to live in your lower back, and for me... The quiet
sound of running water was exceptionally soothing.
One thing I can recommend, is that if you're interested in having water involved
in your birthing process, is to take oil with you. Your skin can get dried
out after hours in a tub or with a shower head positioned against you.
Baby oil, or oils scented with lavender can be a nice additive and a relaxing
way to enjoy your tub time.
Natural Birth
It's empowering. When it's all said and done... To be completely
exhausted, and see this new life... Or two. To think... I did
this.
There have been few other times in my existence that I have been so close to
divinity and understanding the power of femininity. I think, ultimately if
you can, do it natural. It's all about your mentality. You go into
the situation with your birth clearly planned in your mind... And you make
it happen. There will be a time when you want to give up, but this is when
your partner or your birthing coach needs to step in and get you through it.
I strongly advocate bringing in a focus point. When you're in pain, a
visual stimulant can really bring you past the pain and into a place of
centered, focused energy. A photo of you and your mate, a string of beads
made in a Blessing way, an ultrasound photo or anything else that you feel is
going to help you pull it together and get the job done...
Ultimately, it's all going to come down to you and the power within your own
body, but having as much encouragement as you can muster isn't going to hurt.
Things I found helpful in labour:
Fuzzy warm socks. When I wasn't blazing hot, my feet were cold.
Softly scented oil or lotion that will help with skin if it's feeling dry or
irritated
Lipsil, chapstick or something to help with dried out lips
A hair brush - It can be soothing to let your mate brush your hair, and after
birthing you'll appreciate it for pictures!
Music - I have this amazing cd of Pachelbel's music with piano and flute and
harps, it soothes me in the most irritating circumstances.
Cold/Warming Packs - I go from hot to cold, from cold to hot. Having
something to help ease my temperature changes works well.
Medication and Assistance
Sometimes you need a little help. That's as basic as it can be... If
a shot of morphine 6 hours in is going to get your through natural labour - Do
what needs to be done. If you're of a mind to have an epidural, and it's
safe, do what's right for you.
Birth induction through a drip didn't work for me. It made my contractions
harder, and I never got past 8cm dilation. However, you don't always have
a lot of options. With our third child, we were already a week late and
the baby was growing quickly. By my stalling against induction we risked
the trouble of delivering a larger child. When natural labour failed
because of the baby's size, an emergency c-section ended up being our only
course of action and the morphine assistance ended up taking it's toll on the
baby. Sometimes your choices are limited... It doesn't mean you've
failed, or done anything wrong. As long as you and your baby are healthy
and whole after birthing, you've made yourself a success. Always keep that
in mind.
There is a birthing tincture that can help to bring on labour under the skill of
a Homeopathic doctor, it helped us with the twins. Generally it can tone
the uterus and aid in bringing on contractions... However like all things,
there's no promises, and as supportive as I am with herbal remedies, it did not
help in delivering the placentas. Talk to your doctor or midwife about
your options... And in the end, embrace what's right for you.
Caesarean Section
This event can be terrifying. It can also be calm, planned and a
completely controlled environment. There comes a time when there are too
many risks. I don't recommend just planning a c-section because it's the
easy thing to do. Birthing isn't easy. I do recommend listening to
your doctor or midwife. If your health, or the health of your child is as
risk, then do what needs to be done.
Natural birthing makes for an easier time. Your body will heal faster,
your system accepts the birthing process easily and your milk comes in as
hormones work their way. Your baby will have less problems with mucus,
having been pushed through the birth canal, it will have an easier time
breathing.
By having a caesarean you're under going serious abdominal surgery. You're
looking at 6 weeks recovery time... At least. Your baby might have
to spend time in the nursery for mucus and breathing trouble. If you
cannot have a epidural, you must be put under a general aesthetic, and will not
be conscious for your child's birth. Milk seems to take longer, 4-5 days,
to come in.
You have to know your own situation, and you have to be able to make the
decision for what's right. Talk to your partner, and make this something
you both agree on.
Some people seem to think that Caesarean births are taking the easy way out.
I disagree. I think that it takes a brave woman to stand up for herself
and her child and do what's right for them. There are always going to be
critics... You just have to do what's right for you.
Epidural
Originally because of problems with my back and spine, I couldn't have an
epidural, but with our fourth child I was blessed with a technological and
medical advancement and an excellent anesthesiologist. The Epi-Morph
epidural is something like a spinal tap, with the exception of putting fluid in
rather than removing it. There's a combination of morphine and anesthetic,
and with the benefit of a timed birthing procedure it allows a mother to be
awake for the birth of her child. There really isn't a more precious gift.
Epidurals still allow you to feel pressure, just not pain. The
disadvantage can be nausea. Being unable to stop from vomiting is a
miserable experience on a regular day, never mind while you're mid surgery or
just after. Accept gravol injections. All in all, being awake for
the birth of your baby is worth the discomfort.
VBAC
If advised by medical consultation that a VBAC (Vaginal Birth after
Caesarean) is possible... Go for it! You'll be monitored more
closely, the biggest concern in a healthy pregnancy is that your scar will
rupture. Odds are about 1 in 100 of that happening, and your medical care
giver should be able to give you more information on your personal chances of
success. It's a very challenging concept, one that I personally have not
or will not get the chance to try, but I applauded those that do it in name of
having a natural birth.
Complications
I've had a few of these... Really, most women have some sort of
complication during their birthing process, but obviously some are more serious
than others. The listing here is of things I've had to deal with, because
really, there are so many possible complications that there isn't enough time or
space for me to write about them all. I hope that those going through
similar circumstances appreciate my hindsight.
Gestational Diabetes
This one sucks... Because the last thing any pregnant woman needs is to be
told is no sugar!
A change in diet is the first thing to tackle. Cut out sugar, lower
salt... Eat completely according to the food guide provided by your
doctor. But also understand that Gestational Diabetes has an insulin rate
of 90%. That means 90% of women need to take injections after they've
changed their diet through no fault of their own. Hormones completely
control your natural insulin processes, and because hormones are so unstable
during pregnancy there's rarely anything you can do but sit and wait it all out.
Because insulin can be passed through the placenta when taken in pill
form, injections are necessary. This isn't much fun either... But
it's all manageable. Blood Sugar testing is pretty simple with the small,
easy use monitors and strips. The first two weeks are the hardest part.
The promising thought is that almost immediately after delivering your child,
the Diabetes could be gone. You'll have after birth testing, and
then if all clear, testing again in six weeks. After that, test once a
year and take care of yourself... Keep a low sugar diet and a healthy
exercise routine. One in five women will have Adult Onset Diabetes, or
Type Two later in life after having Gestational Diabetes.
Your doctor will probably have you doing Non-Stress Tests once a week to make sure your placenta is getting nutrients to your baby. These are painless, hour a week monitoring of your baby's movements. Your baby should be fine, an has only a normal risk of having Type One Diabetes. At birth your baby could have low levels in a Blood Sugar test, in which case some sugar water can be given to your baby to level everything out.
Best advice I can give during this process is the check your food labels.
Everyone thinks Low Fat is the answer to everything, but for Diabetics lower fat
can mean double the sugar in your foods. Nothing is more frustrating than
thinking you're doing the best you can, then finding out there's hidden sugars
in your foods.
Misdiagnosed Downs Syndrome
The worst feeling in the world is someone telling you there is something wrong
with your baby. One step worse than that is someone being wrong.
At 18 weeks it's standard practice to have an ultrasound where they measure the
nucal fold, which is ultimately extra skin on your baby's neck. This
measurement is compared to a chart. that is only valid for measurements taken at
18 weeks, earlier or later measurements make this test obsolete... However
many doctors seem to find it necessary to encourage further testing and
generally carry on about these test results. Resulting in panicked,
terrified parents, as was in our case.
The only way for your doctor to diagnose Downs Syndrome is to complete an Amniocentesis, a test that takes amniotic fluid from your womb for genetic testing. One out of every 100 tests like this result in miscarriage. Ultimately, you need to decide... Is it worth loosing your baby over knowing it's genetic make-up?
There are what doctors call markers for genetic defects that should be considered before you even think about Amniocentesis. What are the femur measurements of your fetus's legs? Does your fetus have a nose bone? (The nose bone theory is a new and just being researched theory... But so far the accuracy of the theory is promising and is well worth considering verses your other options) Do either families have genetic markers for Downs Syndrome? Are the parents of blood relation?
Your doctor should advise you to genetic counselling as soon as a problem is
suspected. And if there is ultimately something wrong, you'll be well
educated to deal with the situation as you see fit... It's a horrible
situation to be faced with, and anyone who encounters it has my utmost
sympathies. The best advice I have for you is to read everything, question
everything and after you've done everything you can think of, get a second
opinion. The life of your child is worth it all in the end.
Undetaching Placentas
Apparently these can be genetic, so knowing your family history can be very
helpful in birthing and delivery. However you can also have problems, and
then not have any at all, so really no one knows what causes Undetaching
Placentas. Usually, the placenta will detach from the uterine wall and be
delivered after the baby is born. In my case the placentas root themselves
to me and don't let go...
The result of undetaching placentas can be haemorrhaging if your doctor or
midwife isn't very careful. Never, under any condition, should anyone ever
tug or pull on an umbilical cord to try and get a placenta to detach.
Tearing internally can be the only result. Having to have your placenta
removed manually involves being put under with aesthetic and ultimately it can
mean vaginal tearing or abdominal surgery. It's usually an unexpected
event, and ultimately it is the reason you need to have a doctor you can trust.
After Birth
Contractions continue after your baby is born to expel your placenta, and these
can often be more painful than your actual delivery... I recommend taking
something for the pain during this part of your labour, even if it's going to be
Tylenol. I've also heard that breastfeeding immediately after birth can
help with these contractions and the pain, although my placentas didn't detach
during my natural labour, so I can't really vouch for this method.
Baby Bonding
In a perfect world once your baby is born there should be a short time lapse
before the umbilical cord is cut so that the blood within the cord can be
absorbed by your baby. Immediate breast feeding and snuggling with Mom and
Dad or partner helps cement the infant/parent bond. However things don't
always go the way we want them to... Keep in mind through everything that
your baby bonds with you from the day it's conceived. It's used to your
voice, your motion, you are connected through nine months of growth and
creation. Breast feeding as soon as possible, co-sleeping and bathing are
all ways of encouraging an infant/parent bond... But the best way to bond
is to love, openly and freely as much as you can. The rest of it really
does work it's way out in the end.
Breast Feeding
This should probably have it's own page. Later, it might. I'm a
breastfeeding advocate. I think it's natural, pure and completely where
new mothers should be encouraged and assisted.
I also understand wanting to breastfeed so badly you blister your nipples.
I understand not having enough milk. Being tired. Being sick...
I understand giving up, defeat and the feeling of complete failure when you
can't nourish your child the way the Goddess first intended.
You have to do what's right for you and your child.
One thing I can suggest for mothers who are struggling with breastfeeding is that there are lactation consultants and public health nurses available to help you succeed at nursing your child. You're not doing this alone, so do connect with those in your community that have been made available to you as resources.
Natural births generally seem to encourage milk flow within 2-3 days after birthing. C-Sections can be as late as a week. If you've had 'milk' before the baby's born, it's actually a very valuable liquid called colostrum. Colostrum is a sweet clear fluid that contains immune system boosters and a variety of vitamins that will help your baby grow strong. Nursing your baby with colostrum will bring in your actual milk flow. If you are having trouble getting your milk to come in, get a hold of an electronic breast pump... You might feel like a milking cow for a bit, but it'll save you from becoming engorged. I always find heat helps too... Hot pads or even a hot shower can help to ease red, swollen or sore breasts. Pumped breast milk is the perfect opportunity for your partner to share in feeding your baby, either via cup or bottle like the Avent Bottle system bottles which are tailor made to avoid breast to bottle confusion.
Lanolin helps nipples that have been abused by a newborn's enthusiastic nursing. Cracking, blistering, sore spots and all the rest... Good technique helps, but doesn't promise the prevention of painful things that can happen to tender skin.
Breast feeding can be a very difficult thing to succeed at. Some women
don't even bother... But I really feel that it's a worthy cause.
Beyond the physical benefits, it creates a bond between mother and child that's
really irreplaceable.
Note that Eira Alarches
and SnowStones.com can take no responsibility for outcomes or events
based upon the use of the above listed information.
Please use Common Sense, Reason and above all, Love.
Copyright Eira Alarches© 2008
